Hmmm, kudos to our parents as they strive to make sure that we get the best possible upbringing that prepares us for life. But do you think 'caging' or confining your children should be an option? Lets look at my story...
My parents are well educated, they are what yoruba will call 'Alakowe', so they believed so much in this idea of me and my 'family', therefore, i was brought up as a child that could simply be described as 'omo get inside'(a child that's totally restricted).
When i gained admission into the university, i found myself totally different from others because i could not relate well with them. It got to an extent that i would lock myself up inside my room because i preferred being in company of myself rather that that of others, i would not want to be hurt and i would not want to hurt anyone.
This took me one complete year before i finally decided to start to learn how to relate and associate with others no matter the problem that might emanate. This was very difficult for me though, as it afforded me a lot of pain.
You will be wondering, "what pain could that have caused".
Countless is the number of times that i was abused, embarrassed, insulted and slammed with words but would not be able to respond back or defend myself. This took me a lot of things, as it affected my confidence and self esteem, despite the fact that i was brilliant. Each time i was called in class to answer a question, i was always afraid because i would not want any further questioning on the on the answer that i would give, or any critics whatsoever, i knew i might not be able to defend myself.
In a nutshell, i endured everything since i believed it was going to come to an end someday, but it lasted the whole of my university years before i started to learn how to respond back to insults, abuses, and even the softest and most polite of utterances, but all was still in a aggressive manner.
However, the commencement of my youth service marked the end of my aggressive response to thing and harsh approach to life situations. I met a lot of people from every nooks and crannies of the country, i learnt from everybody's reactions and responses to situations and scenarios, i started to build a new self esteem and got my confidence retrieved back...
What i learnt during my service year however goes beyond how to relate and gripping myself firm on the track, but i also realised that 'caging' one's children will do them more harm than good. A lot of girls started misbehaving when they got to NYSC orientation camp because they had always been caged at home and they actually wanted to 'feel among', they wanted to be in the company of 'somebody' or 'some people' and they eventually fell into wrong hands. I know of girl that came to camp as virgin but left camp disflowered, girls that had never shook hands with guys, but left as harlots, and even guys that were known to be saints at home left camp as habitual beer drinkers, girls known as decent, modest, 'long skirt wearer' finished NYSC as Sluts.
Should we still think that our children should be 'caged'? Its not about leaving your children to associate with just anybody, of course you must be mindful of the kind of peers your children keep and the kind of play they do, but at least let them mix with others.
All they need is your guidance, prayers and also teach them manners, morals and the way of God. Let them take piety as their watch word and make them understand that wherever they are or whatever they do Allah is always watching them, even in your absence, so they should fear Him in their undertakings.
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